Peeling Layers One Belief at a Time
I’m sure we’ve all heard how every person has many layers to them and that’s how we build our identities, our individualism and what makes each of us so unique. Even when getting to know someone, you first get to know just the surface like their favorite food, their hobbies, and what they do. All these things are in the present tense. We never truly get to know someone until you allow them to shed their layers and show you.
In order to allow someone to show you their life, it’s important to manifest trust, communication, and respect — the foundation of any relationship. Life changes, people move and we learn to adapt to new surroundings. Finding new people isn’t hard, but connecting with them and forming relationships is the challenge.
But, what I am here to share today is not figuring out the person across from you, but instead how you understand all the layers within yourself. Before you can let other people in on the amazingness inside of you, you need to understand and realize how amazing you, yourself, really are. All of our accomplishments, surpassed goals, and things you don’t necessarily tell people when you first meet them are pillars of what I like to call your outer core. These are things we’ve set goals for and they act as big milestones in life. Reflecting back, you need to learn how to be proud of those accomplishments but make sure you’re looking towards the future at new goals.
Our inner core, on the other hand, influences how we operate in the world. These are our beliefs, values, etc., and in order to truly understand yourself, it’s important to have a good grasp on these as they shape your identity. Your core beliefs are elements that define your life and how you live it authentically. What I mean by that is, if you believe in truth or honesty but tell white lies all the time, you’re living a life that would be a lie in and of itself. Or, if you’re someone who believes in kindness but you’re putting others down frequently, you’re making decisions that go against your true self. These actions don’t fulfill your life, which is why it’s important to understand who you are at the core and what you want to live for.
Something I’ve learned recently is, “Core beliefs emanate from your core or your soul. Without solid core beliefs, your personal way of life will be empty and you will be indecisive at every opportunity or challenge in life. The choices you make in life define who you are as a person.”
If you’re constantly making excuses for yourself, living in other people’s shadow, or taking actions that go against who you are as a person, then it’s inevitable that your life will be constant anxiety and turmoil. What helps me to know who I am at my core is asking myself the hard questions. What’s good vs. bad? What’s right vs. wrong? Who do I want to see every day? Who do I want to keep around? What do I want to do to help others? These reflections write the story of your life. There isn’t necessarily a wrong answer, rather they help formulate your everyday feelings into words.
Everyone has a lot of different worldviews, passions, and beliefs in life. We’re an onion. You get to one layer and realize you like something even more specific, so u peel another layer and realize you love something even deeper within that.
Using my career as an example, my onion started with me choosing business but realizing I liked tv/film. I peeled back a layer and fell in love with PR, and peeled another layer realizing I loved that industry but not the work itself…. Which eventually led me to advertising. Every moment you’re exposed to new people, words, information, etc., and this constant feedback pokes you in places you would never know.
Communication with yourself is just as important as it is with other people. Every day make it a goal to think before saying something you wouldn’t want to say. Every action you take defines who you are, so be mindful of that. You may not be able to see yourself, but the rest of the world does. However, finding your inner-you won’t come within a day. It’s a journey that many take their entire life to uncover. What matters most is you’re staying true to yourself — the deepest you can dig at this moment in time — and you’re not letting noise around you dictate your decisions or actions.
